The delights of the first trimester can vary so drastically from woman to woman. As you all know, I’m close to reaching 14 weeks of pregnancy. And while I have all the books that tell me what most women seem to go through in the first trimester, the problem is: I don’t appear to be anything like ‘most women’.
Week six had arrived and I was quaking in my boots. I’d heard a lot of people say that this is when the dreaded nausea and vomiting began, and knowing exactly what vomiting feels like (unfortunately I have been prone to a hangover or two in the past)I wasn’t all that keen to meet the toilet at that angle again.
Thankfully, my Doctor is a cautious one so at 7 weeks he called me in for a scan, just to make sure that the pregnancy was viable. And thank God he did because, at that point, I was getting ridiculous. I’d been consulting Dr Google constantly and the what if’s were starting to drive me crazy. What if the baby had implanted in a tube? What if the heart had never begun to beat? I wasn’t feeling any symptoms, so I just didn’t know.
I arrived at the Doctors office, desperate for a pee, but really just wanting to know that everything was okay with my tiny little person. I lay on the table. I wondered if the Doctor was nervous. Surely he knew there was a chance that this baby just might not be where we wanted it to be. I can’t imagine having to be the one to tell an expectant mother that her precious baby had never developed a beating heart.
He took the gel, smeared it over my tummy and applied the wand. When the black screen came into focus, I really had no idea what I was looking at. Then I saw it. A tiny little shape that looked a little bit like a tiny teddy bear. And inside that teddy bear… a beautiful little flutter. The heartbeat. It was so, so tiny, but very definitely there.
I told the Doctor how relieved I was. I asked if it was okay that I wasn’t having any symptoms and his response was sweet. ‘We have a heartbeat. That is all we wanted. If you are not having any symptoms: consider yourself one of the lucky ones.’