I never thought I would ever say this, but here it is, coming at you all loud and clear.
Miss Cookas has shopping fright. Yes, I know. It is a ridiculous statement and one that I must own. You must be thinking, ‘what on earth are you on about Miss Cookas? Who is afraid of shopping?’ This is a fair question, and so I will explain.
It is not shopping in general that I am afraid of but, more specifically, baby shopping.
I simply do not understand this strange phenomenon that has arisen so sneakily out of the ashes of this pregnancy. I am seventeen weeks pregnant and I have only bought two things for my baby. Yes, you read it correctly. Two.
For those of you who have been following my blog, you will know that before I fell pregnant, I had to place rules on myself. One of these rules was: no buying baby things before falling pregnant. This rule was put in place simply for my own good, and for the good of the bank balance.
When I fell pregnant, I was thrilled. Finally, my restrictions could be lifted. As many expectant couples do, Mister C and I decided that we would hold off on buying any baby things until we’d reached the holy grail of 12 weeks. I was fine with this. That should have been my first clue that something weird was going down.
Week 12 arrived and I found myself wandering aimlessly through the aisles of Baby Bunting. I looked at the baby clothes. Nice. But I didn’t know if I was having a boy or girl, so I balked at making a purchase.
Week 14 arrived and I went to target. I reached the baby clothes section. Once again, I stood among a sea of blue and pink with my eye balls feeling all googly and my mouth hanging open. What—was—going—on? No idea. You’ve all heard of stage fright, right? Well, here was my version. Baby stuff fright.
And I know where it is coming from too. I have no idea what to buy. I am overwhelmed. I’ve never had a baby before. And don’t get me wrong, I am highly experienced with babies. I have much younger siblings and they were all babies once. I remember it clearly. But what I realised as I stood in that aisle at target was this. I don’t know how to be a Mother. I am going to have to learn everything; including how to shop for my baby.
I am proud to say that since week 14, I have taken the leap.
And what was the much anticipated purchase that popped my baby buying cherry, you ask?
A book. A book about a Mummy rabbit waiting for her little baby bunny to be born.
So how did I know that the world was not going to implode should I buy this particular book? Well, it was like this. When I picked up the precious yellow book and read the words on each little page, tears sprang into my eyes. I didn’t think. I just felt.
And magically, the book bought itself.