I’ll be twenty weeks pregnant on Monday.
As regular Miss Cookas followers would know, so far, I’ve been somewhat lacking in ‘regular pregnancy symptoms’. But I would be lying if I said that things haven’t changed at all for me since becoming pregnant. Please allow me to share some of the randomness with you.
Random Pregnant Butt:
I was 9 weeks pregnant when it started. A sharp, debilitating pain in my right butt cheek. No, my left butt cheek. No, wait, both butt cheeks. People said, ‘It’s sciatica’. I said, ‘It’s whatica?’ They said, ‘Sciatica. It seems too early for you to be having sciatica, though.’ I said, ‘Umm. Okay.’
The Doctor—the only one that I actually took seriously in his diagnosis—said that it was something to do with where my pelvis joins. Essentially, I still have no idea what it was, but thankfully it only lasted around a month. It has since gone into butt pain retirement. Thank goodness.
Pregnancy Glow. Bah ha ha ha:
Otherwise known as pizza face, right? Yes, that’s right. The movies tell you all about that beautiful pregnancy glow. It arises sometime in the second trimester and shows how completely happy you are to be pregnant.
It didn’t quite happen like that for me. Yes, I am blissfully happy and, so far, my pregnancy has been lovely and easy. For that, I am beyond grateful. But instead of ‘glow face’, I got eczema. Not only did I get, and still have, eczema on my face for the first time in my life, pimples have also made themselves at home on my body. It’s all harmless really, but I do have a bit of a giggle at it all.
I’ve always had some really fabulous dreams, even before I was pregnant. In fact, my dreams are so cool that sometimes I really just can’t wait to get to bed! Imagine dreaming a great movie every night. That’s me. And it is awesome. The other night though, my head hit the pillow, and things just got plain weird.
In the dream I was sitting at a table in a food court, at some shopping centre. All around me, the excitement of the shoppers filled the air and I had just about decided it was time to move on to the next shop for some more bargain hunting. But before I could leave my table, a very hippy looking Chinese man came up to me, his face serious and intense. His hand went directly to my tiny tummy, which was barely visibly pregnant. Of course, I jumped with fright.
Then, the Chinese man began to pull his hand back, as if he was trying to extract some kind of evil spirit from my body. I got the vibe that he was some kind of psychic medicine man, so in a panic, I shouted at him, ‘What are you doing?’
He looked at me and said, ‘I get this out now.’ Of course, this threw me into a maternal protective spin out and I began to paw at him, trying to keep him away from my precious cargo.
‘Get away!’ I barked. ‘The baby is not ready to come out yet. It is not big enough! It will die.’
He just looked at me, a little shocked. ‘But it the wrong way. It upside down,’ he said. ‘I get it out for you, otherwise, you have to have a surgery to get it out.’
‘So there is nothing wrong with my baby?’ I asked him, shaking. ‘It is just upside down?’
And there it was. The man was just trying to tell me my baby is breech. He was simply trying to save me the trouble of a caesarean. Of course.
As you can imagine, I woke up highly weirded out, and slightly amused. I wondered if this was just a random pregnancy hormone induced dream. Or was it a prediction? Only time will tell, I suppose.
But yes. Pregnancy can be random at times, can’t it?
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