The Unexpected Surprise

It’s all been very dramatic.

Should I, or shouldn’t I?

Will I or won’t?

So many questions.

So many more grey hairs.

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This is not me.

Here’s the thing, though.

I miss you guys.

I miss all the Sunny Mummy days we shared.

So I’ve decided something.

And it’s big.

So big that my brain hurt from all the wondering…

Should I tell the Sunny Mummy gang about my new blog?

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As you all know, I’ve been writing a novel and, as much as I had longed to return to this space, writing about my life as a Mum just didn’t seem to fit, anymore.

But a new blog…

A new blog could complement my novel work.

A new blog could help my writerly voice grow and change for the better.

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So I leapt into the deep of it.

And for the first time ever in my online life…

I created a shiny, new blog with my name on it.

Not Miss Cookas’ name.

Mine.

Me!

I know, right.

Big.

 

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This is not me either.

What we had here, in this place, was so sweet.

So sweet, in fact, that I couldn’t shake the feeling I was cheating on you guys every time I posted on my new blog.

I just can’t cheat on you guys, anymore!

If and when this novel of mine comes to fruition, it’s you I want to tell first. Through this blog, you’ve helped me unleash my creativity; there’s no denying the enormity of that.

And so, I’ve decided to let you in, shed my internet security blanket, extend my hand.

Introduce you to my new home. Introduce you to me.

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So now it’s your turn to think.

Putting a face to the name might not be the right thing for you.

Maybe our Sunny Mummy Days have grown a place in your heart because of Miss Cookas.

Because of her beautiful babies. Because of her sweet and wonderful Mister C.

The new blog will have the same heart as this one…

But it will never be quite the same.

Let’s face it. How could anything compete with the baby in the herb garden?

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If you choose not to come along for the ride, if you choose to stay in this place, the one we’ve woven so beautifully together…

I’ll understand. And I’ll smile because Miss Cookas lives here, and this world of hers is all the lovely things.

But now, I fling my arms wide open to a bright new horizon.

I give you my face, my name, my words…my heart.

Come in, if you dare.

What a pleasure it will be to meet you in my new place.

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Ps: The new blog has my real name in the web address, so I’ve provided a link here. I’d hate to spoil the magic for those of you who choose always to know me as Miss Cookas. xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The ‘Sort Of’ Goodbye

It’s the post that’s been wobbling around inside me for a long time.

Nine months. Oh, dear.

So many months of oops! 

I’ve known for quite some time that this post would very likely be a goodbye, of sorts. A so long, really, because how could I say goodbye to a world that has so beautifully nurtured all the love I’ve spilled into it?

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How could I permanently close the door to such a place?

I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t.

I won’t.

Instead, I’ll say goodbye for now.

I’ll say: please don’t expect me anytime soon. The reality is, I may not be back for years.  As well as being a busy Mummy of two, I’m writing a novel—my very first— a literary fiction novel about love and friendship and loss. So pretty much about…life.

It’s the reason I’ve not been back here for so long. I’ve found that writing this type of book is taking a lot out of me, creatively— a lot of energy, a lot of time—these new characters of mine, they are demanding all of me.

It’s why I need to come to a full stop with this blog, rather than just the comma I’ve left you with. Will she or wont she be back? Even I haven’t been sure. But I am now. And as much as I am drawn to this space, I’ve realised that if I want to finish this novel, I need to give it the time and space it needs to fly.

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Thank you to those of you who have read, liked, or commented on anything I’ve ever posted here—you’ve thrilled me.

Thank you to those of you who’ve continued to check this space, only to find nothing new from me. Your unwavering loyalty is the reason for this post—you’ve warmed my heart; you deserve my loyalty in return.

Lastly, thank you to the beautiful friends I’ve made in this blogging community. Particular thanks must go to CC, Victo Dolore and When I Had a Sea Horse. Your talent and vulnerability has opened parts of my heart I didn’t know existed—you’ve made me a better writer and a better person. So thank you. Thank you so, so much.

Without further ado, I sign off.

Until next time.

xx Misscookas.

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At last

Something wonderful has happened.

Fizz whiz and daffodil kind of wonderful.

Strawberry fields and apricots kind of wonderful.

Shall I tell you what it is?

Okay.

Ready?

Breathe.

And…go.

It’s a baby.

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We made a baby.

A baby who grew and grew and grew until…

She came out squawking.

A healthy, happy baby.

A bouncing, flouncing, cooing, smiling baby.

Ours, after all the frowns.

Multiple miscarriages.

Five, actually.

But now there’s a baby.

A baby!

A little miss to match our little mister.

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A smile to melt the pain.

And she’s so beautiful.

So deliciously beautiful that all I can think sometimes is…

Thank goodness.

Thank goodness we kept trying.

Thank goodness we pushed aside the pain for just long enough.

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Thank goodness somehow we were resilient enough.

To smile through the rain.

To laugh with our eyes.

To give it another go.

Over…

And over…

And over again.

Until at last there was Sun.

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Glorious Sun.

A baby girl.

Precious.

New.

So delightfully perfect.

It’s all about the moments. Blogtober 31st

For me, no moment is too small.

I see it happen.

I catch it.

I let it take me away.

At first, it might look like a simple moment.

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But then I look closer.

Then…I see so much more.

No moment is too small.

Please believe that.

You can make every moment count.

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I truly hope that you do.

Because that’s life, isn’t it?

A series of moments.

An intricate web, woven sometimes with grace;

Sometimes with friction.

I hope you’ve enjoyed hearing about some of my moments.

It’s been wonderful sharing them with you all.

Thank you so, so much for joining me on the ride.

xx Miss Cookas

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