At last

Something wonderful has happened.

Fizz whiz and daffodil kind of wonderful.

Strawberry fields and apricots kind of wonderful.

Shall I tell you what it is?

Okay.

Ready?

Breathe.

And…go.

It’s a baby.

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We made a baby.

A baby who grew and grew and grew until…

She came out squawking.

A healthy, happy baby.

A bouncing, flouncing, cooing, smiling baby.

Ours, after all the frowns.

Multiple miscarriages.

Five, actually.

But now there’s a baby.

A baby!

A little miss to match our little mister.

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A smile to melt the pain.

And she’s so beautiful.

So deliciously beautiful that all I can think sometimes is…

Thank goodness.

Thank goodness we kept trying.

Thank goodness we pushed aside the pain for just long enough.

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Thank goodness somehow we were resilient enough.

To smile through the rain.

To laugh with our eyes.

To give it another go.

Over…

And over…

And over again.

Until at last there was Sun.

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Glorious Sun.

A baby girl.

Precious.

New.

So delightfully perfect.

That’s my baby you’re talking about! Blogtober 23rd.

A Spring festival?

Great!

I love spring.

I love festivals!

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So full of fun.

So bursting with colour.

A real Sunny Mummy day, if ever I’d seen one.

And the toddler was loving life, too.

I mean, that kid was twirling…

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And leaping…

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And building.

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And building.

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And building some more.

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But then a moment.

Hmmm.

Yes. One of those moments.

A lady running a primary school stall took me aside.

And asked me if I needed ‘school’ information for…

Gulp.

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The toddler. That’s right. My baby.

I laughed it off.

‘Oh, he’s not even two yet!’ I gushed.

But then it hit me.

He won’t be my baby forever.

Soon enough, I’ll be waving him off with a school bag on his back.

Don’t get me wrong. I’ll be so, so excited that day.

But that doesn’t mean I won’t be taking the time to remember

My baby.

The wild and daring toddler.

And all the sunny days we’ve shared along the way.

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Where is the baby in the Herb Garden? Blogtober 10th.

There used to be a baby in my herb garden.

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Oh, how that baby took my breath away.

How he made my heart sing.

Him and his chunky feet.

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And his little sausage fingers.

How they delighted in their new world.

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Oh, my poor herb garden; lost to the seasons, harsh and cold.

And the baby. He’s gone now, too.

But just look at who has taken his place.

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The wide eyed toddler.

Curious and wild.

Happy and cross, all at the same time.

And today, in this moment, he is wondering…

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Whatever happened to the herb garden?

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One day it will be time.

And when it is, I’ll tell him with kindness:

All things grow and change.

Just like him.

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Just like my baby in the herb garden.

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Mummy. Blogtober 7th.

My beautiful boy has been unwell.

He’s needed so, so many Mummy cuddles.

But actually, Mummy has needed them more.

Just so he knows.

Nothing, absolutely nothing is more important than him.

My precious little boy;

I grew him to life.

I nurtured him.

He is my biggest smile.

He is my warmest wish.

Nothing is more powerful than being a Mummy.

And nothing is more frightening.

So, here.

My moment.

Me. At my very best.

Mummy.

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