Curious and Curiouser

We are funny, us humans. By nature, we are such curious creatures.

We have certain perceptions about life and how things should be. Not to mention how long things should take to happen.

When Mister C asked me to be his wife, I found it so entertaining that as soon as we got engaged—people began to ask us if we’d set a date yet. And when I say, ‘as soon as we got engaged,’ I mean, less than ten minutes after!

Of course we haven’t set a date yet you duffers. Until ten minutes ago, I had no Idea Mister C was even going to propose!

Recently, we attended the backyard birthday party of one of our friends.  I drove, so I was the noticeable water drinker of the evening. I really didn’t want to face the long walk to the train station. Also, I knew the following month was going to be a big party month:  best not to have too many drunken escapades between now and baby making time. I have an oven to safely pre heat.

At one point in the evening, we stood around the bon fire. I was snuggled up in Mister C’s arms at the time and, apart from the wayward smoke that seemed to find our position each time we moved, life was good.

‘So guys, what’s your five year plan?’

It was Mister C’s brother in law who put the question to us, and he didn’t stop with that.

‘I mean, are you guys gonna start trying for babies soon?’

I froze.

 I suppose it was only a matter of time before someone asked this question. We have been married nearly a year now.  

Mister C paused; then answered, ‘Babies? Oh well, we’ll try at some stage this year.’

He left it at that; and that was perfect.

So now we know to be prepared for more questions about the time frame of our impending family. People are going to want to know. But what they will never know is exactly how soon it will be before we try.

Because for now… this blog is our little secret.

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A bit of a Wine

How will this work?

That’s me thinking, on paper, about exactly how we will we make it through the labyrinth that will be ‘Operation baby’.

A: Not telling people we are trying for a baby—hard.

B: Not telling people once we’re finally up the duff—ridiculous!

It is one of life’s lesser talked about mysteries. And, now that it’s all about to happen to me, I am wondering how my friends with children ever managed to keep their pregnancies under wraps.

For Me and Mister C, it’s important that we keep any attempts at trying to conceive a secret also. Once people know that we are trying: the pressure to conceive becomes enormous. And quite frankly, I don’t want to increase the risk of unnecessary bodily panic—especially when our conception chances, on a good month, are only 20-25 percent.

My biggest problem is how I am going to say no to wine. I know how much I love the stuff. My friends know how much I love the stuff.

As soon as I say no, they will cry, ‘Pregnant!’

Last month, Mister C and I decided to go on a healthy eating diet. We’ve been counting calories, just for fun, and I’ve even gone so far as to cut out caffeine. I think my boss is already suspicious: me without my morning coffee? Even so, this health kick may have laid the perfect excuse out on the table.

People will think this dry spell is due to our determination to succeed on our diet. How many calories does wine have? ‘Enough to put me over my daily calorie intake,’ I say. Who am I kidding? It’ll never fly.

The perfect solution arose when we were driving home from work this afternoon. I was staring out the window, admiring the beautiful, rustic gumtrees, when Mister C struck pre-pregnancy gold.

‘I know what you should do.’ he said, beginning his speech about how I am going to avoid alcohol at an up and coming Hens/Bachelorette party.

‘What?’

‘Tell them you are just going without toxins because you are preparing your body for future baby making.’

‘But what happens when I get pregnant?’

‘Tell them that you are just going without toxins because you are preparing your body for future baby making.’

And there it is: the perfect solution.

My man is a genius.

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Image by Luke Lornie Photography