The ‘Sort Of’ Goodbye

It’s the post that’s been wobbling around inside me for a long time.

Nine months. Oh, dear.

So many months of oops! 

I’ve known for quite some time that this post would very likely be a goodbye, of sorts. A so long, really, because how could I say goodbye to a world that has so beautifully nurtured all the love I’ve spilled into it?

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How could I permanently close the door to such a place?

I couldn’t.

I wouldn’t.

I won’t.

Instead, I’ll say goodbye for now.

I’ll say: please don’t expect me anytime soon. The reality is, I may not be back for years.  As well as being a busy Mummy of two, I’m writing a novel—my very first— a literary fiction novel about love and friendship and loss. So pretty much about…life.

It’s the reason I’ve not been back here for so long. I’ve found that writing this type of book is taking a lot out of me, creatively— a lot of energy, a lot of time—these new characters of mine, they are demanding all of me.

It’s why I need to come to a full stop with this blog, rather than just the comma I’ve left you with. Will she or wont she be back? Even I haven’t been sure. But I am now. And as much as I am drawn to this space, I’ve realised that if I want to finish this novel, I need to give it the time and space it needs to fly.

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Thank you to those of you who have read, liked, or commented on anything I’ve ever posted here—you’ve thrilled me.

Thank you to those of you who’ve continued to check this space, only to find nothing new from me. Your unwavering loyalty is the reason for this post—you’ve warmed my heart; you deserve my loyalty in return.

Lastly, thank you to the beautiful friends I’ve made in this blogging community. Particular thanks must go to CC, Victo Dolore and When I Had a Sea Horse. Your talent and vulnerability has opened parts of my heart I didn’t know existed—you’ve made me a better writer and a better person. So thank you. Thank you so, so much.

Without further ado, I sign off.

Until next time.

xx Misscookas.

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The momentous surprise. Blogtober 27th.

It was an inspired idea.

The park.

On a day like today.

All the smiles came along for the ride.

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The usual fun and games were had.

Climbing! his toddler voice shouted.

Yay. Climbing, said Mummy…

A little less enthusiastically.

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The slide was in it for the good time.

As always, a good friend.

A loyal companion.

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And then it was time for Mummy’s favourite part.

A picnic with her little man.

Sandwiches and…

BERRIES!

The toddler’s all time favourite.

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And then the moment.

DADDY!

He’d snuck to the park on his lunch break.

A momentous surprise!

IMG_7278 One that made every one very, very happy.

Yes.

Even this guy.

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Cottage Pie and the purple potatoes. Blogtober 26th.

Did you know that there are purple potatoes in this world?

They are called ‘Royal Blue’  potatoes.

But by golly gosh.

They.are.purple!

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White on the inside.

Purple on the outside.

Magic.

I’m in love.

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The only thing for it was to make a cottage pie.

The recipe did not require purple potatoes.

Rude. I used them any way.

First, I chopped up the cry babies.

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Then, the stinky one.

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Some white trees.

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Some skinny, orange fellows.

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And finally, some of this.

Parmesan.

Thank you, cheese gods.

Thank you.

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And then…

The moment.

A very proud moment.

Perfect potatoes.

Fluffy, delicious.

And not at all purple any more.

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Everything’s coming up roses, again! Blogtober 24th.

Every year in winter, our garden turns into a jungle.

Weeds, on top of weeds.

Shame, everywhere I look.

Then comes spring.

And everything comes up roses.

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When the first spec of pollen hit…

I had a moment.

Ours is the garden that just keeps on giving.

It never asks much in return.

It just keeps coming up roses.

No questions asked.

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Every year, its beauty takes my breath away.

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So today I decided to give something back.

I got down on my hands and knees and I…

Actually weeded.

Yes.

I gardened.

And it was so, so good.

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Every now and then I’d look up.

And there it was.

A sweet little thank you.

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Yes. That garden of ours.

She’s special.

And I am so glad she got a little bit of love from me, today.

Beautiful girl.

She so deserves it.

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Pigeon Babies. Blogtober 16th.

I checked the nest every day.  Zilma the grotty—but ever so lovely— wild, pigeon was perched there, sometimes sleeping, sometimes staring back at me with laser eyes. Stay away from my babies, they said. I tried to respect her space. But she’d set up the nest right outside of our bedroom window. And those little eggs; two precious, baby pigeons in waiting. How could I not feel excited for her?

One day when I returned to the nest, Zilma was not there.  And neither was one of the eggs.

Where did it go? Surely it hadn’t hatched yet. Did she destroy it, knowing the life that grew within was not viable? Did she accidentally knock it from its perch? Or did one of the not-so-friendly neighbourhood birds snatch it away. My imagination ran wild. Whatever the case, I felt sorry for poor Zilma.

But at least she still had the one egg.

Later that day, I checked the nest again. Zilma was back. This time, though, I knew she was warming just one, lonely egg.

A few days later I returned to the window to find a cracked shell. Her baby had hatched! But Zilma was nowhere to be found. Nor was her baby.

Curious, beyond curious.

She couldn’t have flown it off to a second nest could she? I highly doubted it. So, once again, I walked away, shaking my head.

Time went on and,still, Zilma and her baby did not return. The nest remained intact but it had quite clearly been abandoned.

Until the other day, that is, when the moment of all moments happened. Zilma! After the loss of her two little ones, she was back, proudly perched upon two, shiny new eggs!

In fact, she’s there right now.

Growing a little family of pigeons.

I do hope her story has a happy ending, this time.

Just imagine.

Two tiny little pigeons, snuggled up to Mummy and chirping their way into my days.

Sounds just lovely, to me.

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